Work on communication, negotiation, daily connecting, parenting, money issues, intimacy, in-laws/extended family, and much more.
Contact Dr. Sobin today to get started: (813) 444-9163
"I will call you back personally, usually on the same day."
Couples therapy is a different kind of talk therapy. Quite often, the issue is simply a lack of basic communication skills for one or both members of the couple. This occurs for a variety of reasons; sometimes it has to do with the match, as a talkative, extrovert-type husband tries to understand a sensitive, introspective wife, for example, but more often in my experience it is the result of the role models and family culture that each member of the couple brings to the marriage. Simply put, if your parents didn’t communicate (or weren’t even living together), you may not really understand how married people are supposed to collaborate, or what are reasonable marital expectations. You may not recognize the benefits of even simple commitments to intimacy, like keeping a date-night routine. This kind of couple’s problem is most often pretty easy to address, and progress comes quickly.
Other times, couples struggle with the “one-to-one tie.” That is, you want to sleep with the television on; I don’t even want a t.v. in the bedroom. You want to vacation in a warm climate; I want us to go skiing. You think we should be saving for the future; I think we should be considering the purchase of a new vehicle. You like Asian cuisine; I like steak on the grill. And on and on. It can seem after a while that you and your spouse have absolutely nothing in common. And though the task is manageable, it requires patience and perspective to begin to learn how to talk to each other in a way that will allow you to work through each item in your unresolved list and to add it to the description of the new culture you and your spouse are creating: In the end, I realized ...(cont'd)
Premarital Consultation and Advisement Available!
The most important
I welcome same-sex couples.
I know even contemplating marriage counseling can make people really uncomfortable. After all, the inner workings of your marriage are deeply personal and private, and if things aren't going the way they should be, just thinking about talking to a complete stranger about your struggles feels exposing and even embarrassing.
I want to assure you that we can do this in a comfortable and productive way. Our conversations are completely confidential of course -- I run my own practice myself, so except in extraordinary, legally mandated circumstances no one will have any kind of access to a single detail of what we talk about. Also, realize that I have been conducting marital therapy for 23 years, so I have heard pretty much everything from my clients. Things that seem awkward or make you feel queasy are things I have discussed many times before. They are familiar to me.
So we can talk about whatever we need to talk about. Communication is always at the forefront. And as the three of us discuss your concerns, we can deepen our understanding of the problem, find solutions or compromises, and develop action plans to establish and sustain new and better ways of doing things. Part of my work also is to deepen your respect for marriage and to help you and your spouse to see what a profound and rewarding project a lifelong partnership is meant to be, and can be. So let's not panic even if we are having a bad year, okay?
You will find me to be a personable and active therapist. I don't just sit and stare. I am inclined to keep control of marriage sessions, especially for couples that have trouble keeping their dialogue calm and productive. I will give my opinions, when I have opinions. I will direct your behaviors or give homework as opportunities present themselves. I will care about you and your partner, and unless there are intractable or injuring factors, I will be rooting for the success of your marriage from beginning to end.
You can give me a call to discuss this. Only I will hear the voicemail you leave, and only I will return your call. I look forward to speaking with you.
WE CAN HANDLE THIS !
"... the best marriages involve people who can deal with strong negative emotions — and who are cleareyed about how hard it can be. They don’t avoid anger, but they don’t indulge it. They tackle hard issues without shutting down. They apologize for their own bad behavior."
By DAPHNE de MARNEFFE (New York Times, 1/12/18)
11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting in Relationships
by Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D. (Psychology Today, (1/22/17)
A clever video on consent in sexual matters:
Looking for your soul mate? Read this: http://time.com/4779868/what-you-should-do-instead-of-waiting-for-a-soulmate/
BELOW is the most enormously helpful little (86 pages) treasure-of-a-book, guiding and directing you if you are in the awful predicament of having to repair your marriage after an affair: