The 4 Quadrant Approach to Leisure Activities

Struggles over the organization of leisure activities come to the surface in couples therapy.

In some marriages, the couple does everything together. In other marriages, the individuals are largely autonomous, "doing their own thing." In still other marriages, one or the other partner sets the agenda, sometimes to the great distress of the other partner. A great concept for organizing activities is a quadrant approach. The concept here is that one quarter of the time, I do things with you that you like because YOU like them. One quarter of the time you do things with me that I like, because I like them. One quarter of the time we do things we have identified that we both like. And one quarter of the time we each do our own separate thing.