In a civil society, citizens generally participate under a broad consensus - articulated in some cases and simply understood in others - for the shared good.  The product of this participation is a feeling of safety in self-expression and of protection from intrusive e...

Call me crazy, but I say the arguing is best part of marriage.  Not if you're bad at it, of course.  And that's what we are going to discuss today -- why and how to disagree.

Apart from disagreements, a lot of interactions we have with our spouses involve superfici...

The big umbrella is a fundamental concept for committed relationships, including marriage.

I see so many couples who argue, and then in the middle of the argument one or the other of the couple makes the big pronouncement: "That's it! I'm done!" or "I want a divorce!"


It is so important to be a giver, not a taker, in marriage.  If you can be a giver, you create the conditions for your spouse to be a giver too.  That's when good things start to happen.

The 50% rule can help with this.  Simply stated, the 50% rule says it is each...

Some of us have the awful misfortune of being married to partners with bad tempers.  These folks may be inclined to yell, swear, name-call, throw things, even push, hit, and otherwise intimidate.

Obviously, there is a limit to what we should tolerate:  very little.  If...

Affirmations are something you've read about many times in books and magazines.  In marital therapy we think about them, too.  There are good reasons why they keep coming up.  On the one hand, people who study relationships recognize how utterly vital affirmations are...

The In-Law Challenge is a early-marriage task that presents itself in many, if not most, new marriages.  It may be part of a normal developmental process that takes couples 5 to 10 years to complete.  

Of course, to suggest 5 to 10 years is to give a gene...

Sex is relatively easy when you are swept up in the glories of dating, engagement, and the wedding.  By year two, three, or four of a marriage, though, things can get more complicated.

Please don’t lose your composure if you and your partner are having trouble agreeing...

This is a pretty simple idea.  

Some people can just turn it on.  Their partner is changing for bed, slipping down his jeans or unfastening her bra.  The flashbulb pops.  "Hey, wanna fool around?"

For those people, that approach works fine.  If they are married...

August 7, 2016

In a previous article I discussed the intimacy plateau.  Since then, quite a few couples have come in wanting to discuss this idea in more detail.  The intimacy plateau is as basic to a great marriage as Date Night.  Read my article entitled “The Intimacy Plateau” for...

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Articles by Other Writers


"Gaslighting" is a maneuver sometimes present in troubled marriages.  To learn more about gaslighting, click here.

Here is an article critiquing the idea of a "soul mate."

Here's another article about choosing the wrong mate.

Want to grow brain cells and treat depression?  Click here.


Some views on erectile dysfunction

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Jonathan Sobin, Psy.D



(813) 444-9163

111 2nd Avenue NE

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